Are you ready for a relationship?

By Denise Corlett.

Find more articles by Denise here.

Many of us want to be in a great relationship and in my line of work I come across people who yearn for this.  However, there is often a gap between wanting to be in a great relationship and being ready or prepared to do what is necessary to be ready for a great relationship.  Bridging that gap is going to bring you closer to your ideal partner sooner.  Sometimes you have to allow yourself the time to reach that readiness stage, sometimes it is a matter of proactively preparing yourself and making yourself more ready.

Allowing yourself the time

Let me give you just one example of what I mean.  A relationship that you’ve been in has recently ended.  You do need to allow yourself a period of time to “get over” this.  Emotionally you need to work through the changes.  You may want to be in a new relationship but you might not quite be ready to commit.  Often relationships that occur after breakups can be short-lived.  It’s important to allow yourself the time and not beat yourself up while in this phase.  Accept that relationships or dating during this phase can be short-lived while you work through things.

Proactively readying yourself for a partner

Sometimes you’re not aware of what you need to be doing to be more ready for a long term relationship.  I would suggest it is often a matter of reviewing your thoughts and beliefs around long term relationships that can make more of a difference in bridging the gaps.

It is often useful to really examine some of your thoughts and beliefs and see what might be “unconsciously” blocking you from finding and attracting and forming a great relationship.

Some useful exercises to start helping you can include:

• Writing down all the compromises you think you’d have to make if you were in a long term relationship e.g. have to prepare meals all the time, have to share your income, lose your ability to do things as you want 
• Writing down how you might get around this e.g. choose a partner that likes to cook too/or doesn’t mind preparing own meals, choose a partner who earns a similar income to you, choose a partner who also enjoys some level of independence 
• Start thinking this way e.g. “I can find a partner who also enjoys cooking”
• Writing down your beliefs of why you’re not in a relationship e.g. too fat, too old, no one decent left
• Writing down alternative beliefs you could take onboard e.g. being a little cuddly doesn’t mean there is no one out there who would want me
• Write these beliefs down as an affirmation e.g. “There are plenty of decent, single, available partners for me”, “I can meet someone special for me at any age”

These are just some starting points.  It’s important to address anything that might be preventing you from being ready for a relationship, so that you do reduce the time it takes to finally find and be in a successful relationship. 

If you’d like to download my new free e-Book  “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:

Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz.

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