When friends move away: Staying close from a distance

The friendships we carry through life — whether formed decades ago or more recently — often feel especially precious. These are the friends who have shared milestones, holidays, grandchildren stories, and the ups and downs of life. Which is why it can be a real wrench when a friend moves away — whether they’re heading closer to family, downsizing to a new town, or even making an adventurous move overseas. It’s easy to feel left behind, but distance does not have to mean the end of closeness. With a little creativity and care, friendships can continue to flourish even when miles apart.

Accept the Change (and Your Feelings About It)

It’s natural to feel sad, even a little abandoned, when someone important in your life moves away. Allow yourself to acknowledge the loss. At the same time, remember this shift doesn’t erase your shared history. What you’ve built together is strong enough to stretch across postcodes and time zones. Thinking of the move as a new chapter, rather than an ending, can help reframe things. Instead of focusing on what’s gone, find ways to carry your friendship into its next stage.

Make Technology Your Ally

Even if you don’t consider yourself “tech-savvy,” today’s tools can make staying in touch surprisingly simple. Video calls on Zoom, WhatsApp, or FaceTime allow you to share a coffee together virtually, seeing each other’s smiles as you chat. Messaging apps keep the daily chatter flowing, while shared photo albums or private Facebook groups let you swap family snaps or garden updates. If new technology feels daunting, ask a younger family member to set you up — they’ll often be delighted to help. Many libraries also run free tech classes if you’d like a refresher.

Keep Traditions Alive

One of the easiest ways to keep a friendship strong from afar is to maintain your rituals. If you always went for a Saturday morning walk together, you could still “walk and talk” over the phone. If you exchanged birthday lunches, agree to send each other a treat in the post and share a celebratory video call. These familiar rhythms provide continuity and remind you both that distance doesn’t have to disrupt the heart of your friendship.

Plan Visits (Big or Small)

There’s something special about looking forward to seeing each other in person. If practical, arrange an annual trip or alternating visits. Even if they’re less frequent than you’d like, these catch-ups often feel more intentional and meaningful. If travel isn’t easy — whether for financial, health, or family reasons — consider shorter “meet in the middle” visits, or tie your catch-up into another event, like a wedding or holiday. The key is to keep something on the horizon both of you can anticipate.

Embrace the Written Word

Letter writing might sound old-fashioned, but receiving a handwritten note in the mail is still a delight. Letters allow you to slow down and reflect in a way quick messages don’t always capture. Plus, they give your friend something tangible to hold onto — a reminder of you on their fridge or bedside table. If handwriting is difficult, consider typing a monthly “catch-up letter” to print and post. The thoughtfulness will still shine through.

Share Experiences From Afar

Friendship is built not only on shared history but also on ongoing experiences. Try reading the same book and chatting about it, or watching a TV series “together” and texting your reactions. You could even plan a long-distance project, like a photo challenge where you each take a picture a day of something that makes you smile. These little shared activities keep conversations fresh and fun, while giving you new memories to build on.

Welcome New Circles Too

It’s important to nurture the friendships you already have, but also to allow yourself to form new ones locally. Loneliness often stems from relying on one or two key people, so broadening your social circle can provide balance. Community groups, classes, or volunteering opportunities are great ways to meet like-minded people. Remember, cherishing old friends and making new ones are not mutually exclusive — both can enrich your life in different ways.

The Gift of Distance

Strangely enough, a little distance can sometimes strengthen a friendship. When you no longer see each other by default, you tend to make more effort — listening more closely, appreciating the moments you do share, and expressing your affection more openly. Your friend’s move may change the logistics, but it doesn’t change the bond. With a bit of thought and creativity, you can keep that connection alive and thriving for many years to come.