The Art of A Really Good Hug

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a hug expresses a thousand emotions, 999 of which we are usually unable to do quite so eloquently with words.

Hugging is a human behaviour that is so ingrained it is almost an instinct – see how you feel if you see a loved one in pain – either physically or emotionally – the urge to give them a hug is almost overwhelming!

Hugs are the best, but some people need to be encouraged to give and receive hugs. The physical contact breaks down barriers, nourishes the soul and sends exactly the right message when words fail. 

How to give a great hug

Be sincere and don’t rush it.  If someone is really upset, it is often a good idea to say ‘I’m going to give you a hug.’ Offer your arms open, step close and then just stand there. Some of the best hugs go on for several minutes and mean nothing more than ‘I am here for you, right here, right now, fro as long as you need.’

Hugs are excellent for diffusing fraught situations. Often we feel frustrated, angry or maligned because our needs are not being met and we feel lost. Try offering a hug and holding on, firmly but gently, until you feel the other person begin to relax. That is usually the cue that they feel safe and supported.

How to receive a hug

Sincere emotion and caring can be confronting. It can stir up all kinds of feelings that are unrelated to the person standing in front of you. Accept that you are worth receiving some TLC from another person. If you cry when you are hugged, that’s ok. If you feel overwhelmed, that’s ok. There is someone, right there, who is sharing your burden. Accept the help.

Human touch is healing and hugs are the most healing of all. If hugging and being hugged is hard for you, practice and persevere. It is worth it in spades.