Instant Actions | Show Some Compassion – for yourself!

We all know we should be compassionate towards others, but how many of us ever think of showing that same love, kindness and sympathy towards ourselves? The answer, is very few!

Those entering their retirement years, are especially at risk of neglecting themselves as they seek to care for elderly parents, parents-in-law and grandchildren. Yet, being compassionate towards ourselves can reap a raft of health benefits. It can even help us be more compassionate towards others!

Research suggests practising self-compassion can help reduce anxiety and depression, enhance relationships, and make us more resilient. It can also increase our self-confidence and make us feel more content with the way we look.

Yet, while you may have a whole list of ways in which you’re compassionate towards others, how can you show compassion towards yourself? To help you do just this, we’ve come up with a few ideas to get you started in this important practice, so read on!

1. Make it a golden rule to treat yourself as you would a very good friend. Or, if it’s easier, as you would your much-loved grandchild. We’re talking here about unconditional love – the sort of forgiving love that keeps on going, even in instances when that friend or grandchild might not necessarily deserve it.

2. Forgive yourself – stop beating yourself up when you get things wrong. Remind yourself no one is perfect – and that includes you. Don’t revisit mistakes, instead, let the memories of them fade while you steer yourself on a new course.

3. Treat yourself. We’re not talking about spoiling; we’re talking about giving yourself pleasant little things to look forward to. It might be the promise of a rest on the bed with a favourite magazine, a new kitchen gadget or tool, or a coffee and cake after a walk in the park. These little treats remind you you’re worth taking care of.

4. Nourish your body. In the midst of caring for others, we often forget to feed ourselves healthy food. In fact, those of retirement age, routinely make sure their older relatives have access to healthy meals, then resort to having junk food themselves out of sheer exhaustion! Make sure you eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables – if you don’t have time to cook them, you can still enjoy raw vege sticks and dips, and fresh fruit salads.

5. Caring for others can quickly rob you of your sense of self worth, especially when undeserving criticism is directed at you. Remind yourself of your positive attributes by writing them down on a sheet of paper and displaying them where you’ll see them often (such as on the door of the fridge). If you find identifying your own attributes difficult, ask someone you love and trust to remind you of them.

6. Take your own advice! When things are tough, imagine it’s a friend, not you, who is in difficult circumstances. Ask yourself what compassionate advice you would give them, then apply this advice to your own situation – and take it!

7. Speak to yourself in positive ways (speaking out loud in this way can be even more reassuring). Remind yourself times may be difficult, but things will improve. Tell yourself it’s OK to feel sad or down at times. Encourage yourself to take a rest, and tell yourself it’s OK to say ‘no’ to requests, in order to make this happen.

8.Last but not least, thank yourself for being compassionate, not just to others, but also to yourself. Because you are as deserving of compassion as the next person.

Remember: if you’re compassionate towards yourself, you’ll be in the best position to be compassionate towards others!