Mental Health Awareness Week (October 12-18) gives us a useful reason to think about something which can easily slip down the list of priorities: our mental wellbeing. We often become more conscious of our physical health as we get older, but feeling well involves more than keeping an eye on blood pressure, eating sensibly or staying active. The quality of our relationships, our sense of purpose, our curiosity and even how much attention we pay to the world around us can all influence how life feels.
The Mental Health Foundation’s Five Ways to Wellbeing offers a useful framework for thinking about these less tangible parts of life. The five ideas are Connect, Be Active, Give, Take Notice and Keep Learning, and the Foundation explains each one in more detail on its Five Ways to Wellbeing page. Rather than simply repeating its advice, it is worth considering what these five ideas might look like at a different stage of life, when routines, responsibilities and priorities may have changed considerably.
Connection may need more intention
For much of our lives, connection happens almost without us arranging it. Work brings us into contact with people, children create a network of parents and activities, and busy households provide a steady stream of conversation. As circumstances change, some of those automatic connections can disappear. Retirement, moving house, changes in family life or simply having friends scattered around the country can leave us with fewer opportunities for everyday contact.
This does not mean filling every spare moment with social activities. A regular coffee with a friend, joining a group around an existing interest, making a phone call rather than sending a quick message, or getting to know a neighbour can all provide connection without making life feel busier. The important thing may be noticing whether meaningful contact still has a place in your week, particularly if you have become accustomed to spending more time alone.
Being active can look different
Exercise advice can sometimes sound as though we are all supposed to be training for something. In reality, being active can simply mean finding ways to move which suit our bodies, interests and circumstances. Walking, gardening, swimming, dancing, cycling, playing bowls or taking an exercise class can all provide movement, while smaller opportunities such as walking to the shops or taking the stairs can add up too.
The right kind of activity may change over time. Something which felt easy ten years ago might no longer be comfortable, while an activity you once dismissed may now suit you perfectly. Rather than comparing yourself with someone else’s fitness routine, it can be more useful to ask whether movement is part of your life in a way you enjoy and can sustain.
There is still plenty to give
Leaving paid employment can sometimes create an unexpected question: where does all the experience and knowledge accumulated over decades go? Work may have provided an obvious way to contribute, while family responsibilities may have given us another. When those roles change, finding new ways to be useful can bring a sense of purpose.
Giving does not require a formal volunteer position, although volunteering can be hugely rewarding. It might involve helping someone learn a skill, sharing your expertise, supporting a community group, checking in on a neighbour or making time for someone who needs company. We often underestimate the value of giving our attention and experience, particularly when neither comes with a pay cheque or job title.
Don’t forget to notice things
There is a curious thing about familiarity: the more often we see something, the less we tend to see it. A street we have walked for years becomes background scenery. We know the supermarket layout so well we barely look around. We can spend an afternoon in the garden without really noticing which flowers have appeared, or walk beside the same trees without seeing how the season is changing.
Taking notice can be a way of making an ordinary day feel a little less ordinary. It might mean paying attention to birdsong, watching the changing light, noticing a new building in the neighbourhood or stopping to appreciate something which would normally pass unnoticed. It can also mean noticing ourselves: recognising when we are tired, content, irritated, lonely or genuinely looking forward to something. We do not necessarily need to change what we notice; sometimes paying attention is enough to interrupt the feeling of moving through life on autopilot.
Keep learning
Learning is something we talk about often at GrownUps, partly because there is no obvious reason for curiosity to stop when we reach 50, 60, 70 or beyond. We may no longer need to learn something in order to qualify for a job or pass an exam, but learning can still play an important role in how we experience life. It gives us new things to think about, exposes us to people and ideas we might otherwise never encounter, and can prevent our world from becoming too predictable.
There is also something particularly valuable about continuing to learn as our circumstances change. Retirement, children leaving home or a reduction in working hours can leave more space in the day, but filling those hours with the same familiar routines can gradually make life feel smaller. Learning can open things up again. It might mean exploring local history, improving your photography, understanding a new piece of technology or finally finding out how something works. The subject matters less than having something which continues to spark your interest and gives you a reason to keep exploring.
You don’t have to do all five
The Five Ways to Wellbeing are not a daily checklist, and trying to squeeze all five into every day would probably make wellbeing feel like another job. Some days will naturally contain plenty of movement and connection. Other days may be quieter, with more time spent noticing, learning or simply doing very little at all.
Perhaps the value of the five ideas lies in looking at the bigger picture. Over the course of a week or month, are there people you connect with, opportunities to contribute, reasons to move, moments when you genuinely pay attention and something which still makes you curious? If one of these has gradually disappeared from your life, it may be worth making a little room for it again.
Sometimes making room for wellbeing does not require adding something new. It can simply mean noticing something which has been missing, and deciding it deserves a place in your life again.