GrownUps New Zealand

Retirement Village Living – How to Make Friends

Downsizing and moving home brings with it a multitude of rewards, especially when you’re heading to a setting that frees you of a significant degree of responsibility. But there are also challenges, and one of those is the forging of new friendships. Where do you begin to find the company we all need to keep us happy and healthy? As it turns out – there are a few tried and true tips – so read on!

Gather

It may sound harsh, but the reality is, being seen as ‘needy’ is not conducive to making friends. The fastest way to make new friends, is to gather old friends (and family) around you as you search. If you’re new to a retirement village setting, let yourself be seen in public with company. Invite the companions you already have, to go for a walk with you around your new environment, or to join you in a communal dining situation, where this is an option. If there is an opportunity to invite a friend, outside the village, to enjoy a leisure activity (such as a pool session or happy hour), ask them along. When you are seen with company of your own, you will be viewed by neighbours as ‘approachable’, ‘social’, and ‘confident’. And these are the sorts of characteristics that will draw other, new friends, towards you.

Involve

There’s a reason retirement villages offer a wide range of clubs, activities and outings – and it’s to help residents get to know each other. Even if you are not a naturally social person, and are in fact happiest when you have just one or two good companions, involve yourself in communal activities until you find those individuals. In many ways, it doesn’t actually matter whether or not you are particularly interested in an activity – your aim is to meet new, like-minded people.

Initiate

Just because we leave one home for a new one, doesn’t mean we leave behind our interests. If your retirement home doesn’t cater for your particular interest, you have the perfect opportunity to start a new group. If you are not a naturally outgoing person, you can do this in a quiet way by asking staff to pass on an invitation to two or three other residents they think might be interested. If you are feeling more confident, place a note on a physical or digital notice board.

Promenade

‘To promenade’ is defined as ‘taking a leisurely public walk in order to be seen by others’. To Kiwis, who shy away from the limelight, a promenade can be seen as drawing attention to oneself, and therefore a ‘no-no’. But taking a walk around your new environment is one of the best ways to meet people in an informal, casual way. Whether it’s a brief ‘hello’ to another resident who is watering their garden, or a smile to someone as they hop into their car, you are paving the way for a longer conversation next time you encounter those same folk. Be sure to take your promenade at different hours, as everyone has their own rhythm and routine, and you will meet different residents at different points in the day.

Announce

Announcing your arrival in a retirement village, even in a very small way, is one of the fastest ways to make new friends. The simplest ‘announcement’ is to invite your immediate neighbours into your apartment or home for morning or afternoon tea. Keep the gathering small so it’s meaningful and not stressful – you can always repeat the invitation to another group of residents a few days later.

Making new friends takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it!