Old fashioned manners and etiquette go hand in hand. Good manners are important, they help provide a social road map of what constitutes ‘acceptable behaviour,’ depending on the circumstance. This changes over time, as society evolves, but there are some basic rules which are always appropriate.
There is always a line between common sense and rules, a degree of moderation is always important.
Shaking hands
Shaking hands is a polite way to greet colleagues and those with whom you are making a first acquaintance. Never start with a hug or kiss.
As a rule both parties shake hands after signing a business agreement.
Meet the eyes of the person with whom you are shaking hands and be firm, but not aggressive with your shake.
Doors
Usually, when a door is held open for you, it’s best to pass through without making a fuss. At shop or office doorways let those exiting pass through first before entering. In a social situation, the host usually opens the door and lets their guests through first.
Restaurants
It is considered offensive to be excessively loud – either with conversation or laughter, as it is to stare openly at others.
When it comes to the bill, usually the person who made the invitation should pay for the meal. However, at impromptu meals, each diner should pay for their own food. In this case, keep track of your order and warn the waiter in advance that you will be paying separately.
If your guests want to pay for themselves, it’s not worth making a fuss to change their mind. Simply thank them politely.
If you aren’t an expert at cutlery, in a restaurant, you will only be given the cutlery you need for the dishes you have ordered. You must take your phones off the table and at the very least turn them to silent for the duration of the meal. If you have to take a phone call, excuse yourself from the table and step outside.
Punctuality
Always try to be on time for any meeting, be it business or pleasure. ‘Traffic’ is not a good excuse for lateness. Use the real-time traffic information on your phone to avoid being late, and always allow extra time for parking. If you know beforehand that you may be late, don’t leave your call to the last minute, let them know in advance.
Topics of Conversation
Avoid gossip and overly personal anecdotes (unless you are discussing the latter with a very close friend).
Listening is just as much an important skill as talking. Be an active and attentive listener and make interjections at appropriate intervals.Well mannered people avoid interrupting.
Visiting
Arrive on time, not late or early and only with those people invited, unless you have made a prior arrangement.
‘Popping in’ is not considered polite. A quick phone call or text will ascertain whether a visit is welcome.
Guests should remember it is impolite to refuse food – if you are on a diet or eliminating foods or choose not to eat certain things, be flexible when someone else is cooking for you. Any dishes offered should be sampled without hesitation. Under no circumstances is is considered polite to burden your fellow diners with the details of your dietary problems or dislikes.
Public transport
The young and able bodied should volunteer their seats to elderly ladies and women carrying children. Well brought up men only sit on public transport if no women are standing near them.