– Your kids are becoming you… and you don't like them… but your grandchildren are perfect!
– Going out is good, coming home is better!
– When people say you look "Great"… they add "for your age!".
– When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything – movies, hotels, flights – but you're too tired to use them.
– You forget names, but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!
– The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
– You realise you're never going to be really good at anything… especially golf.
– Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.
– The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
– Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he or she does in bed. It's called their "pre-sleep".
– Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
– You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married…". Now, "I hope they STAY married!"
– You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
– When Google, iPods, email, modems were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
– You tend to use more 4 letter words – "What…? When…?"
– Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
– Your husband/wife has a night out with the guys or gals but is home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
– You read 100 pages into a book before you realise you've already read it.
– What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
– Everybody whispers.
– Now that your spouse has retired you'd give anything if he/she would find a job!
– You have three sizes of clothes in your closet, two of which you will never wear.
But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!
Courtesy of Bryan