His daughters helped where they could, but with busy young families of their own, it was hard for them to drop everything and offer as much practical support as they would have liked. Then, Angie had a fall at home, a nasty one. She was in hospital for several weeks.
Martin was committed to getting her home, until his adult daughters had a difficult talk to him. They reassured him that he had been wonderful, but that they were concerned about the health of both their mother and father, and that the time had come to get some professional help.
They sought plenty of advice, and settled on Radius Care for their wife and mother. Angie settled happily into hospital care in Hamilton, with her husband still living independently in their home nearby. He visits her every day, and while he still struggles with the change in routine, and the fact that he misses having his wife in their home, he sees she is much calmer and safer.
“I am amazed by how well she settled,” he says. “Her speech is limited now, but she seems more relaxed – I think we were both worried about how the other was coping – now she has wonderful nurses and carers, and I can just enjoy her.”
For the girls, the change has led to a renewed relationship with their father. He now stays one night a week with each of them, for a bit of extra company, but as he is not focusing on Angie’s practical needs, he is able to relax and really interact with his children and grandchildren, which they love.
He still brings Angie for short visits to the girls on the days she is up to it, and they see her in an environment where they know she is safe and cared for.
“The staff have been so compassionate, and it was a relief to be able to talk to people who really understand what we are going through,” he says. “We all felt guilty for thinking that we couldn’t care for Angie at home, but this has been a very easy transition.
“I have spent so much time dreading the day I couldn’t take care of her any more, but it turns out, that it means now that I can just spend my time loving her.”
He is also able to do some more things for himself – he has reignited his love of writing, and is working on a family memoir, and takes daily walks, that simply weren’t possible when he had Angie living at home. “The good people at Radius Care have really added to our family in a difficult time,” he says. “I am so grateful that my darling wife is getting the care she needs and that I can still be such a part of it.”