GrownUps New Zealand

Sibling rivalry

When your kids were growing up and if you have more than one grandchild, I bet you have asked (or yelled), “Be nice to each other!” from time to time. But has that phrase ever worked in the history of humankind? Has any child suddenly stopped and thought, “You’re right! I had forgotten to be nice to my brother. Thanks for the reminder”?

Siblings fight (even when they grow up and have kids of their own). They could seem to be fighting over who holds the TV remote, who gets through a door first or who can play with a stick, however, very often they are really fighting over you.

They want you to intervene in the situation and prove your love for them, preferably by annihilating their brother.  If your grandchildren know you love them equally and have no favourites, you will take away a lot of the fuel for sibling rivalry. Life isn’t fair – but that doesn’t let us off the hook. We should seek to be as fair as we can. A kitchen timer can be a wonderful independent referee for controlling turns on a game,
trampoline or laptop.

 

By John Cowan, The Parenting Place

Improving and equipping families to thrive.

Read more from John and The Parenting place here.