Parenting poses far more questions than it offers answers. The world has changed enormously in the past generation, as it always seem to do, so more than ever, we are searching for guidance, particularly when our children and grandchildren are pre-teen or teenagers. Children are exposed to so many influences as they grow, but when things go a bit pear-shaped, blame tends to fall squarely at their parent’s feet, whether that is fair or not.
Parent mentor Jane Francis has written a great, succinct book called Secrets For Mothers Who Struggle, which can easily apply to both sets of parents. It is a fast read, and each chapter ends with a tip that will help improve your parenting and help you grow as a person too.
What stands out in Secrets For Mothers Who Struggle is the concept that parenting requires personal growth ad change. We must be prepared to adapt to our growing children – ideally before they do! What works when you are dealing with a two year old, requires vey different skills than dealing with a 15 year old. The issues are bigger, and more complex. It is also difficult to ask your child to adjust their behavior, if you are not willing to ever model that.
As parents, we need to accept that no one has it all figured out and is living the perfect life, with a perfect family. At various stages, all parents question themselves, and in some instances not only struggle to connect with their children, but also to recognise and enjoy them. This is entirely normal, and by using the right strategies, it is possible to reclaim the fun of parenting – which is what it’s all about!
It is refreshing to see the level of openness and honesty when it comes to discussing parenting. Too often, we share our children’s successes and achievements, but are rather more reticent when there is an issue. This book addresses our feelings as parents, and the issues we face too. It helps us identify where we may need to make adjustments so that we can maintain our own integrity, guide our children constructively and find joy in the process.