Becoming a mother teaches you how fiercely you can love and protect another human being how much strength you truly have and where your priorities lie. You will never be the same again, and nor would you want to be. Motherhood adds a dimension to your life that you can not imagine until it happens. You will never feel happier, sadder, more inspired, terrified and confused!
Not every mother has children on her knee or in her home though, and not everyone has their mother with them anymore. As Mother’s Day approaches, be kind and respectful. Don’t assume that every childless woman hasn’t wanted children. She may have very much, and it may be the source of grief or regret not to.
Not everyone will be with their mother this weekend, despite how badly they may want to be. Spare a thought for those who miss their mother or children this weekend. If you know, reach out and offer love and kindness. If you are unsure, ask gently.
For me, Mother’s Day is a little of both. I have beautiful children who will make a fuss of me and a mother I love. I also have the memory of losing a baby half way through a pregnancy on the Friday before Mother’s Day. Not only was I sad (and continue to be), I was so guilty. As a mother, it was my job to grow and protect that little unborn person, but something went wrong and I found myself in hospital being scanned, desperately praying for a miracle which never came.
In the aftermath, I had to explain to my small children that ‘their’ baby was no longer in my tummy and deal with the well meaning of kindness of others telling me it was probably for the best.
Of all the gestures I received, one stuck with me in the form of an email from a woman I hardly knew, who had one daughter. However, she signed the email, (which was full of the best advice I received) ‘from the mother of one beautiful girl, and six little angels in heaven.’
You’d never know to meet her what she carries in her heart. So on Sunday, tell the mothers you know (they don’t have to be your own) how you appreciate them. Let them tell their stories. For all the smiles and cuddles and growlings and reprimands mothers dish out, there are many more stories, worries, and dreams that they keep hidden.