A great phrase to remember is. “A child who feels right, acts right.”
All children throw up a bit of spontaneous mischief but if you are getting consistently unpleasant, difficult behaviour, remind yourself: “A child who feels right, acts right. My child isn’t acting right, so why aren’t they feeling right?”
Is this behaviour a symptom of not enough time and attention? Is there some disruption in their life? Are they having enough sleep and fun? Is there some unhealthy influence from a friend? You don’t ignore the misbehaviour – you deal with it appropriately – but try and get the big picture of underlying causes. Often the key to the current turmoil will very readily come to your mind, sometimes it might need a bit more digging.
Give your kids the big picture, too. When the sparks have stopped flying after a disagreement or argument, let them know that you can see past this current situation: “You know, I had to tell you off just before, but, in general, your behaviour is getting really good. You’re growing up into such a great kid.”