When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
“Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?” “My name is Paul.”
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn’t like it.
I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.