A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.
I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.
‘I said to this train driver “I want to go to Paris”. He said “Eurostar?” I said, “I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin”.