An army squad is on exercise in the jungle, Sgt Major briefs the boys on things to look out for.
“Lads, the women are so loveable you will fall for them. You must avoid them at all cost as they are diseased.
Next, the water, it has the dreaded Ju-Ju worm in it, drink it and you will suffer. Be warned.
Finally, there is a snake so deadly you must REALLY avoid it. It has black and yellow stripes, easy to recognise. If you can, grab its tail and run your hand up to the head and whack it.
On yer way lads!”
Two weeks later the Sarge visits three hospital cases.
“What happened soldier?”
“A gorgeous local girl seduced me and now I have the Pox.”
“Told you so Lad.
What about you?”
“Water Sarge, I was so thirsty I needed a drink and this worm is eating my bottom.”
Finally the last one was head to foot in bandages.
“So, what’s this?”
The soldier moaned, “The black and yellow snake! Sure I caught it, I ran my hand up it, like you said, and there I am with two fingers up the bottom of the biggest Bengal Tiger you ever did see!”