I used to work in a pub next to a hospital and this guy walked in one day with his hospital gown on and holding a drip on a stand that was still connected to his veins.
I asked him how I could help and bizarrely he said, “Can I have 2 pints of lager, 2 pints of Guinness, 4 Jack Daniels and coke, 3 gin and tonics, and 6 shots of tequila?
It’s a free country so I start to pour the drinks and put them on the bar one at a time. As I finished pouring all of the drinks he downed them in order and finished on the shots of tequila, which he dispatched one at a time at a quick pace.
He then looked at me really sad and said, “I shouldn’t have drunk all that with what I’ve got.”
I said, “Why, what have you got?”
He said, “About £3.50.”