The following questions were set in formal school examinations. These are genuine answers, from 18 year olds. Poor teachers, it must feel like a losing battle some days!
Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A. Premature death
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.