Dear Charlie,
We’ve been neighbours for six tumultuous years.
When you borrowed my lawnmower, you eventually returned it – in pieces.
When I was sick, you blasted your stereo at full noise.
And when your dog ‘decorated’ my lawn, you laughed.
I could go on, but I’m not one to hold grudges.
So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.
Cordially, Harry