GrownUps New Zealand

12 reasons why sex is like driving a car

Sex is like driving a car – one wrong move can cause an accident

1. If you can’t start your ignition, you’re not going anywhere.

Reality check: if you can’t start your car your journey is over before it begins. This is not an uncommon situation for older models, although it has become increasingly more common for late model vehicles. Check that you’ve got enough fuel and you’re not thinking about other adventures

2. You can only reach your objective if you don’t overshoot your destination.

We’re assuming you got your vehicle started, but you’ve got to slow down! We know as a male you are very goal oriented, but from the female perspective, we prefer you to slow down, take in the scenery and enjoy sharing our ride together.

3. Braking hard at the wrong time can make you crash or stall.

The science behind our previous request – if you’re not paying attention to what’s in front, behind, or coming at you from the side… then things could get messy.

4. One wrong move can cause an accident.

Which leads me to my next point: You’ve got to keep track of what’s going on. There’s two of you involved in the sexual act and you can only control your part of the equation. Make sure you account for your partner’s unexpected moves, because…

5. Braking in the wrong way can make you lose control.

A sudden tightening of a specific nut can cause you to lose control.

6. If you get a flat tyre you’re not going anywhere.

You’ve got to know how to pump up your tyre at a moment’s notice, so your partner doesn’t get bored waiting for the journey to continue.

7. Changing into the wrong gear (with the wrong timing) can make you stall.

The smoothest ride encompasses moving smoothly through the gears, in the right order, with the right timing. Changing gears too rapidly, or changing down and missing a gear makes for a rough and uncomfortable ride for all concerned.

8. Losing focus can make you lose control of your vehicle.

As you know from trying to text while you drive, your mind can only focus on one task at a time. If you’re worrying about your vehicle’s performance and your ability to reach your preferred destination, THEN WHO IS STEERING YOUR VEHICLE?

9. You can only enjoy the ride if you know how to stay in control of the vehicle.

Just like driving a car, sex requires a certain amount of confidence in your ability. If you’re unsure of your sexual technique your mind will be too distracted to enjoy the ride.

10. Flat spots make you wonder if you’re going to make it.

It’s so important to regularly maintain your vehicle – unless you’re using the right fuel and looking after your vehicle to keep it in prime condition your vehicle may depreciate and lose its market value.

11. It’s only enjoyable when you know how to stay in control.

Remember as a teenager, the thrill of going for a ride with someone who wasn’t in control of their vehicle? Yeah, it’s great fun as a kid, but us grown-ups don’t find it much fun at all. We tend to find it humiliating, embarrassing and disappointing – and that’s from both male and female perspectives.

In summary:

12. You can only stay in control if you know how to operate your vehicle!

None of us were given the operating manual at school. If you were lucky, you fluked getting sex right the first time and it hasn’t been a problem since. If, however, you had the unfortunate experience of being too eager to please during your first sexual encounter – or you briefly lost focus thinking about the weekend fishing trip while you were having sex (and lost your erection or lost control) you may be wondering what the heck you were doing right, prior to that random incident.

If you want sex to be fulfilling for yourself as well as your passenger, get the operating manual now.

 

By Jacqui Olliver

Jacqui Olliver, an authority on solving sexual problems at End the Problem teaches men and women how to drive and fine tune their vehicle to achieve peak performance. Recommended by leading medical specialists, Jacqui’s breakthrough technique can enable the rapid resolution of sexual problems including premature ejaculation erectile dysfunction and being unable to orgasm.

Read more from Jacquie Olliver here  or visit endtheproblem.com