Q: Should we invest in some pre-marriage counselling?
A: Yes, that way if there are any red flags, you can address them in a neutral setting. Do what you can to ensure past problems don't cloud your happiness whether it be from family members who are slow to accept a new partner, difficulties with a child or children, financial or drinking habits. Whatever the issue, it pays to check that you are on the same page.
A big factor in marriage breakdowns is poor communication skills and maybe discipline. Rarely is one person blameless in a previous marriage breakdown. Counselling will help you to be honest with each other about what happened and your role in it so that divorce can truly be behind you and you have the best shot at making this marriage work. It will also highlight any conflict in communication styles and give you the tools to change it for the better.
Q: Should we have a pre-nuptial financial agreement?
A: Talk to a lawyer about this. There are very sensible reasons to have a pre-nup. One of the best ones is you know exactly what will happen if the relationship fails and how everyone will be affected. A pre-nup ensures that your beloved really is just marrying you for you.
Q: Will my past relationship failures cast a big shadow on this wedding?
A: If you have honestly dealt and resolved them, let this be a completely new beginning. You have the right to be happy and to approach this wedding with all the joy and energy of a fresh, new love. Give it your all. Be happy. Feel blessed. Make this a wonderful, fresh, new start.
Q: Which partner should have more say over the wedding arrangements?
A: The general consensus is the person who has married the least. They get to invite more guests and have more say in what happens.
Q: Can you wear white? And a veil?
A: Ten years ago, no. Now, yes. A lot of brides wear white who are no longer virgins. The old rules don't apply. The same goes with a veil.
Q: You get on really well with your ex, should you invite them?
A: There are no strict rules anymore. If you want to and your fiancé feels fine about it, invite your ex. This is a new world where we get to make the rules, good friends are hard to come by so value the ones that you have.
Many online guides will tell you to never invite your ex no matter how well you get on, their fear is that they will get melancholy or make other wedding guests feel awkward. But weddings are about family and children and often they have moved on themselves so really it's up to you.