GrownUps New Zealand

It’s never too late…

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`It's never too late to be what you might have been’
~George Eliot

In Guatemala I had a life changing dinner with two English women. In their 70s, they had just completed a canoeing trip in Belize where they had bought a patch of jungle. Between bouts of laughter they tried to figure out how often they had capsized. Life appeared to me that night a whole lot longer. These two were not returning to the UK to retire in a rest home, they were returning to summer jobs at a café. Widows, they had decided to forgo retirement and see as much of the world as possible. For ten years they had backpacked to exotic destinations forgoing material possessions for a life as explorers.

With estimates that one in twenty baby boomers will live to a hundred, rethinking retirement and aging is becoming common. For many turning 50 simply means the best years are still to come.

Like the two British travellers, Evelyn Gregory and Heather Hapeta have made the best use of their health and enthusiasm. After retiring as vice president of a US bank, Evelyn Gregory took a year out to relax. She then set off in pursuit of her lifelong ambition- to become a flight attendant. After approaching five airlines she was employed by the Mesa Air Group at 72.

Freelance travel writer Heather Hapeta, re-evalutaed her life after hearing friends fretting about turning 50.
“ I thought it’s coming whether I like it or not so how can I change my perception of turning 50?”
A widow with grown children, Heather worked as a counsellor and started saving for a round the world ticket. On her 50th birthday she set off for a year and on her return, reinvented herself as a travel writer. Her first book `Naked In Budapest: travels with a passionate nomad’ has just been published and Heather is getting paid for doing what she loves.

The downside of change is fear. Before her initial trip Heather had recurring nightmares about getting from the international to domestic terminal in L.A. Her fears, although unfounded as an airline employee met her at the airport, proved beneficial.
“ It was a valuable lesson for me. I realised if I stay in the now I’m always OK. It’s only frightening if I look into the future.”

If you know you want something more than just golf and R&R, but a radical life change is too frightening, try a step- by -step approach. This gives you time to brainstorm ideas with friends, read and think about what makes you feel fulfilled. Many people work part-time, do volunteer work or study part time. Purging clutter and letting go of the past can also help by creating the space and freedom for self- discovery and self- belief.

For men anxious about retirement, author Gail Sheehy in `Understanding Men’s Passages’ suggests redirection rather than retirement. While first adulthood is focused on earning approval, rewards and recognition from other adults, second adulthood (40-70) brings new roles-` son, friend, father, colleague, mentor, community wise man and benefactor’. Sheeey believes success requires men move from competing to connecting.

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