Read more articles by Eugene Moreau.
So, what is it you dream about?
What do you imagine yourself doing? What do you want to accomplish? Are you really doing what you want with your life?
I told you in Part I about the five dream busters of Family, Friends, Fatigue, Failure and Fear. Today we are going to talk about how to overcome them.
Let’s start with addressing Family & Friends first.
The first thing to do is understand where they are coming from. The reason why family and friends would try to bust your dream is because they themselves are experiencing their own version of fear. They fear for you and honestly feel they are protecting you from possible failure, disappointment and humiliation.
It could be that they are afraid of how you will change as you begin to ‘pursue your dream'. They could be afraid that they will have to change or, they could be afraid you will succeed and they will look inadequate…… in your eyes, their own eyes and other people's eyes.
It’s always best to seek first to understand and then seek to be understood.
The next thing to do is hold your dream close until it is ready to be shared. We often expect our friends and family to unquestioningly believe in us and give us support no matter what, but they can't always see things from our point of view. Sometimes it's better not to tell them what your dream is until you’ve gained a degree confidence and clarity.
Then you need to show your determination. You have sought to understand their fears, and then you held your dream close to your heart until you were confident, ready to share, now show your determination and let them know that you have no intention of allowing them, or anything, deter you from your dream. If you have a history of compromising and allowing their needs and fears to become yours, then your new determination may be a shock for them. Remember, it’s about your dream, your fulfillment. Now is the time to break that pattern.
Now let’s address Fatigue.
Fatigue is without a doubt one of the most subtle destroyers of your dream – simply because it creeps up on you and you won’t even recognise it.
Fatigue is a ruthless dream buster because it steals your energy. Fatigue destroys your dream from the inside out. Never surrender your dream to fatigue.
You don't want to give up on your dream when all you need to do is get some rest. You don't drop your dream. You may have to wait a while, maybe a year, maybe even more, but one day you will have your energy back and then – you can focus on your dream again.
Here’s what you do…procrastinate!
Yeah, that’s right, this is one of those wonderful times when procrastination is legitimate. Put it off. Never decide to quit your dream when you're tired. You'll regret it.
Wait until you get a little energy back, you get your perspective back. Then if you want to put your dream on the shelf, or change it, you will be doing it with purpose instead of fatigue.
Now let’s address Failure.
Have you ever met anyone who hasn’t ever failed?
In case you didn't know it before, let me introduce you to a simple truth: Failure is part of the dream journey. In fact, it is one of the single most required elements because this means you are pushing beyond the comfort zone. But sadly many people let failure bust their dreams into nothing.
So, how do we stop failure from busting our dreams? I think there are five very valuable keys and I’ll briefly outline them.
1. Learn from your failures: How did you learn to ride a bike? The short answer: you fell off 100 times. Every time you make a mistake or fail, learn as much as you can from it so that you are better prepared next time. Can you ride a bike now? The same principle applies for your dreams.
2. Don’t let failure stay in your mind: Once you’ve failed, and learned from it, move on! Don’t dwell on it. You can’t tell where you are going if you are looking backwards. Also, dwelling on your past failures will keep you in prison right where you are.
3. Get up and go again: Don’t let the fear from your last failure stop you from reaching your greatness, goal, dream, or potential. Just like learning to ride that bike, you didn’t fall once or twice and then give up.
4. Surround yourself with positive people: No matter what it is that you are trying to achieve, surround yourself with successful people that have done what you want to do. One of the best ways to overcome failure is to learn how other people just like you overcame failure. This will not only encourage you but also give you the proof that it can be done.
5. Realise that failure is part of the journey: Failure and mistakes aren’t fun but they are what help us learn to be great at whatever it is we are trying to achieve. “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell
Finally let’s address Fear.
When you dream you will face fear and it’s silent, terrible accomplice called doubt and you may not even recognize them. Fear and doubt are the number one saboteurs of a dream because they seldom ever show themselves in the open. They always hide in the shadows of your imagination and whisper the “But what if’s……”
“But what if my friends and family will watch me fail. How embarrassing!”
“But what if people gossip and make fun of me when I fail. How humiliating!”
“But what if I lose all my money? I can’t afford to lose the start-up money.”
“But what if I don’t have the ability to do it?”
“But what if no one is interested in my idea?”
Here’s what you do: Draw a line across the center of a piece of paper. On the top, write your dream in as much detail as possible. On the bottom, write out your fears, doubts and "but, what ifs".
You must always have the ‘why’ and ‘what’ firmly fixed in your heart and mind before you begin to work on the ‘how’. By drawing your dream above the line and focusing on it you are demonstrating your commitment to your dream more than your fear.
By keeping your fears, doubts and "but, what ifs" under your dream you will find:
- Your fear of success becomes a desire for success.
- Your fear of failure becomes a hunger accomplishment.
- Your fear of rejection becomes openness to acceptance.
- You fear of being criticised becomes accepting praise.
- Your fear of not being good enough becomes confident assurance.
- Your fear of being imperfect becomes positive self-worth.
- Your fear of punishment becomes deserved rewards.
- Your fear of being unlovable becomes being loved.
Let me close.
Now is the time to dream! Now is the time to live and sleep with your dream, dine with your dream, entertain your dream and never squash the passion for your dream.
Be aware of the dream busters and overcome them.
Until next time……dream!
Eugene
Read Part One – Beware of the Dream Busters
Read Part Two – Overcoming The Five Dream Busters!
Read Part Three – Your Dream Must Have Legs Or It Will Die!