Recognising if someone is good for you

12 years ago

By Denise Corlett.

Attraction and compatibility do not necessarily go hand and hand, hence the above question. The early part of a relationship is based on attraction, where physical and personality attributes and other factors are early determinants of whether people will get together. However, there are a whole lot of other factors at both an unconscious and subconscious level that influence our choices in a useful and not so useful way.

If you’re someone who seems to always pick the wrong types for you, then it will be useful for you to become more aware of some of these influences. Some of this can be done in a really practical way – some of this will require a bit more work to figure it out.

The key to recognising whether a person is good for you or not starts with an honest review of yourself and your date. Here are just some pointers for a start:

Recognise what you are attracted to specifically in another person
Ask whether you need to change or modify your criteria
Determine what your needs are
Clarify what your boundaries are for unacceptable behaviour and learn to recognise clues your date may be displaying even in the early part of a relationship
Keep checking out each other’s hopes, desires, values and ways of communicating
Realising that what you were initially attracted to, does not necessarily predict a successful long term relationship or compatibility

This list is not exhaustive and it is important to understand that we are all unique and so our attraction to and compatibility with others will vary from person to person. Key to finding and attracting your ideal partner is learning more about yourself.

If you’d like to download my new free e-Book “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:

Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz.