Internet dating conversations

12 years ago

By Denise Corlett.

Internet dating success isn’t just about ensuring you have a great profile which includes an attractive photo, fitting screen name and appealing information about who you essentially are and what you are looking for. No it’s more than that and internet daters often slip up at the next step which is the art of conversing online. Initial and ongoing conversations can make you more or less appealing to others and determine whether you will in fact get a date. In addition, they are full of really useful information which can let you know whether someone is right for you or not – so you don’t waste lots of precious time and money meeting up with the wrong types for you.

How can you improve how you are coming across in your online conversations?

You need to be your authentic self. You still have to be you regardless, as you want someone to fall in love with who you essentially are. So be who you are, but if you wish to, you can choose to change your behaviours to better serve you.

Secondly you need to realize that putting time and effort into this part of the process is essential to your success. You need to ensure you are committed to putting across your best self but also to filtering in and out the right or wrong people for you.

Thirdly, who do you want to be? If you feel you are still not who you want to be, start believing that you in fact are…and you will catch up over time with a bit of effort and motivation! If you want to be more confident, then believe you are and start acting that way; you want to be more generous, believe it and start acting that way; fun, then believe you are and start acting that way.

What are the hidden messages to look for?

No matter whom you are what you choose to write or not in your online conversations is a big indication of who you essentially are. People can choose to take the next step with you based on this information. What are just some of the hidden messages that you can pick up or others can pick up about you? For example, do you make statements that are matter of fact? Is this essentially who you are most of the time or perhaps some of the time when you are in work mode? Is this a balanced view of you? By making lots of matter of fact statements in your profile and conversations you are essentially letting the world know that you are this kind of person. If this is a fair reflection of you, you might choose to keep conversing like this. However, if this isn’t a balanced view of you and you’re not having the success you want, then you may want to ensure a more balanced side of you is shown with a more conversations that are light, friendly and relaxed. Many of your traits will be displayed in these conversations, as will the traits of others. With a keen eye you can read between the lines and start picking traits and values in conversations.

You can also become aware of others and your needs, anxieties and drives very quickly when conversing online. Just some examples can include a lack of self confidence displayed when someone takes some time making a decision or in not making choices or taking the lead. Dependence is often displayed when someone becomes overly invested in you very quickly. A scam or dishonesty is often shown when someone very early on tries to appeal to your emotions and often you might feel pity, very flattered or you may feel a strong desire to help them.

Someone’s or your educational level, professional status can be determined by the spelling or grammar you use. However, this is not always the case, as it could just as easily indicate someone’s or your lack of or attention to detail, careful or carelessness or ability to use the computer spell.

All this information is useful to form an impression of someone or of yourself. Keep looking at all the clues and see what patterns form and how you feel about them. They will be good indicators for you of who may or may not be right for you. However, make sure you review what you write and ensure that you are putting the best impression of you forward for greatest success.

If you’d like to download my new free e-Book “Discover the secrets to finding and attracting your ideal partner and having the best relationship ever”, click here:

Denise Corlett, founder of Dating Advice, is an expert in helping professional men and women find, attract and be successful in relationships. For more dating advice information on how to get partnered go to http://www.datingadvice.co.nz.