An abridged extract from The Flourishing Woman by Dr Cate Howell, published by Exisle Publishing, RRP: $34.99.
Nothing endures but change. -Heraclitus
Life is all about change! The various changes as we move through life can be exciting and wonderful. Thinking about getting a driver’s licence or moving out of home, or our first main relationship or being married can trigger positive thoughts and feelings. However, managing change in life and various challenges that cross our path can also be stressful.
Looking at managing change and challenges is particularly relevant given the pandemic, which has created many changes in our lives, at home, at work, in our relationships and in our communities. It has also generated many challenges and, sadly, heartache, all of which have created a great deal of stress and anxiety.
Many of us have not seen anything like COVID-19 in our lifetimes. At the centre of this period of change and challenge has been uncertainty about life and the future. During the pandemic many people have reported that they have felt empty, unmotivated or have experienced a sense of stagnation or numbness. Usual experiences that previously sparked joy no longer did so. Sociologist Corey Keyes coined the term ‘languishing’ to describe this experience. Languishing is not a single emotion, nor a mental illness, although having had anxiety or depression in the past might have made us more prone. Rather, it is a whole series of distressing feelings, and is the opposite of flourishing.
In this chapter we will consider why change, challenge and uncertainty can be difficult to navigate. We have seen the exhaustion resulting from the pandemic, natural disasters and financial pressures in recent years. As a result, we will also consider the issue of burnout in this chapter.
Although humans don’t particularly like change or uncertainty, we actually have the capacity to adapt well. The pandemic is a good example. We have seen people adapt to working from home, finding new work when jobs have been lost, home-schooling children or wearing personal protective equipment full-time in health care.
More than ever, understanding the impacts of change and various challenges on our mental health and wellbeing, having strategies to manage change and uncertainty, and strategies to maintain or improve our wellbeing are vital to flourishing.
Managing change and transition
Let’s talk about how we can adapt to change and transition generally, and cope with some of the associated challenges. When there is a change, we tend to evaluate whether the change is relevant to our wellbeing and our goals, and how confident we feel in managing the situation.
Here are some points that can specifically assist you in adapting to change. The ideas are taken from some of the therapies we have already discussed:
» Focusing on what is important in life, and ensuring any goals are in line with your values. Maybe re-establishing some goals.
» Expressing your thoughts and feelings associated with the change, such as talking with family members, a colleague or a therapist. Or expressing your thoughts and feelings in your journal.
» Using personal strengths as a resource to assist with coping and adapting.
» Having structure and routine to the day and week, which can be reassuring.
» Ensuring pleasant and relaxing activities are scheduled into the week.
» Gathering support from others and connecting.
» Managing stress via lifestyle measures such as regular exercise, and fostering positive emotions such as gratitude, even for very small things in life.
» Focusing on what you can control or choose to act on and being more flexible in your thinking about what you can’t control, and choosing to let these things go.
And some more!
» Problem-solving issues which arise as part of the change or transition, and sometimes using a ‘wait and see’ approach.
» Being aware of unhelpful thinking patterns such as black-and-white thinking or catastrophizing, which might impact levels of anxiety and mood, and working on more helpful or optimistic thinking.
» Being aware of underlying beliefs that might influence your thoughts and feelings during the period of change. These might include, ‘I should always be in control’ or ‘Bad things should not happen to me’.
» Practising mindfulness to reduce stress and help you become less hooked by worries about the future.
» Finding meaning in the change and new roles; for example, recognizing what is important to you in life, or finding alternative work practices to have benefits.
» Fostering acceptance of change as it is part of life, and practising defusion techniques that assist with managing uncomfortable feelings.
» Regularly checking-in with yourself to see how you are doing, and practising self-compassion.
Burnout
When I recently asked Facebook followers about how they were travelling in relation to the pandemic, the main response was ‘exhaustion’ from maintaining caring roles (children and elderly parents), and managing changes related to work, such as job loss and working from home.
Hearing about this exhaustion, I started to question the current rates of ‘burnout’.
It is reported that there is currently ‘a global epidemic of burnout’.
The World Health Organization describes burnout as involving feelings of exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job, and decreased professional efficiency. Burnout is also defined as a negative psychological syndrome that develops in response to chronic stressful work demands.
Recent research has noted that burnout is not limited to formal work conditions and can occur in parents or carers. Women are at greater risk than men, and younger people are also more at risk. Burnout is often diagnosed as depression, but it is not the same. It may also be confused with ‘Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’ due to the exhaustion, but this has its own range of symptoms.
The main symptoms reported by those experiencing burnout are exhaustion and cognitive problems. In addition, indifference or a lack of empathy, anxiety and depression symptoms, irritability and anger, sleep disturbance, lack of motivation or passion, impaired performance, withdrawing from social activities, physical symptoms, emotional lability and inability to feel (sense of depersonalisation) can also occur. The work factors that may contribute include excessive hours, overly complex or relentless tasks, role issues, high levels of responsibility and uncertainty, lack of downtime at work, a perceived lack of control or support, and demands of technology and changing technology. An expectation of availability 24 hours a day via phone or email may contribute. The workplace environment can also contribute (such as noisy open offices or a toxic culture).
It is thought that burnout is more likely when there is marked stress plus certain personality factors. Perfectionism has been identified as a risk factor. Treatment involves addressing all issues contributing to burnout, for example reducing various causes of stress, anxiety and managing perfectionism (see Chapter 6).
In burnout, our autonomic nervous systems are activated and hormones such as cortisol are released in the body to try to overcome the cause of stress. When this part of the nervous system remains activated for a long period, the growth of new nerve cells in the brain and neuroplasticity are limited. Our immune system does not function as well so we may develop more infections, and inflammation can occur within the body.
There is a difference however, between burnout and ‘burning out’. Many people are feeling chronically stressed and exhausted but are able to readily recover. When burnout occurs, recovery is also possible, but a significant reset in life may be needed.