GrownUps New Zealand

Need a little space? Why travelling solo could be good for your marriage 

From backpacking around Europe in your twenties to post-divorce getaways, solo travel usually goes together with a few prerequisites. But broaden your horizons and you’ll quickly find out that solo travel isn’t just for singles. On the contrary, it can not only be incredibly rewarding but it can also work wonders for relationships.

Sure, at first glance travelling solo doesn’t seem like it complements the idea of a healthy marriage. But there are plenty of gurus out there who would beg to differ. Intrigued? Read on for our take on why solo travel could be good for your marriage.

Different interests, different destinations

If you’re one of those couples that embodies the saying “opposites attract” then solo travel could be a lifechanging concept. You may love to get out and enjoy the outdoors, while your partner is more of a city slicker. Or, perhaps you’ve always dreamed of going on a cruise, though your other half couldn’t be less interested in the idea of an at-sea getaway. Whatever the scenario, solo travel is an incredible opportunity for you to nurture your own interests and plan a holiday that ticks all your boxes. In some cases, it’s not uncommon to feel dragged down or resentful towards a partner for hindering your travel needs. Embracing the “different interests, different destinations” concept can eliminate this flaw in a marriage and help to ensure both parties are happy and fulfilled. And yes, just because you travel solo it doesn’t mean there’s not still room for romantic retreats.

Embrace “staggered” life stages

As you get older you and your partner may find yourself at different life stages. For example, you may be a part-time teacher who’s eligible for long service leave. Meanwhile, your husband is still a few years away from retirement. The reality is that currently, your schedules just don’t complement each other when it comes to an extended getaway. Rather than spend your two months of long service leave pottering around the house, why not embrace the fact that you’re at different life stages and plan a solo trip? You’ll get to make the most of your well-deserved time off and perhaps he may like to do the same in his first year of retirement.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for decades, a little time apart can be amazingly healthy for relationships. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a multi-month adventure, travelling solo gives both partners the freedom to really explore who they are as a person, which is incredibly important. Time apart also gives both partners a chance to miss each other, which makes reunions so much sweeter.

Enjoy the perks of solo travel

While there’s definitely something to be said for walking hand-in-hand down a cobbled European street, solo travel opens up a new kind of experience. You’ll be so much more open to meeting new people, which could spark lifelong friendships. Not only will your mindset change, but so will the mindsets of the people you encounter. For example, if you’re travelling solo on a cruise you may forge an impromptu “sunset cocktails club” with other ladies. Or if you’re exploring Vietnam you may get chatting to your tour guide who invites you back to their family home for dinner. Basically, you’ll unlock a myriad of personal and enriching experiences that you may not encounter travelling as a team. Then there’s the element of growth and self-discovery, not to mention a genuine sense of independence and achievement.

Nurture your needs

Globetrotting alone gives you the total freedom to nurture your own needs, which can be incredibly liberating after decades of raising kids, working full time or living with a spouse. All these things are wonderful, but let’s face it, everyone needs a break and solo travel could be just the ticket. Travelling solo means you can wander aimlessly though a new city, get lost in a good book, eat Italian gelato for dinner, sleep in until 11 and basically do whatever you please, whenever you please.

Ultimately, the key to travelling solo while you’re married is communication. Take the time to discuss ideas with your partner and make decisions together, rather than independently. Even if your other half isn’t coming on your trip it’s still nice for them to be consulted, included and kept in the loop. This way you can jet set with zero guilt and absolute confidence that your solo travels will nurture, not endanger your marriage.

Do you have experience travelling solo while married? Maybe you’re nervous and looking for some tips? We’d love to hear from you so go ahead and leave a comment.