My friends I give you this advice
ignore it and you will repent
Always leave home each day
expecting to have an accident.
Start your day with a happy smile
and “undies” that are sparkling clean
you must look your very best
at any dramatic accident scene
For paramedics will check your pulse
blood pressure and respiratory rate
and may very well have to evaluate
your underwear state
As you lie there prostrate non compos
with your legs up in the air
rubber-necking passers-by will stop
and very rudely stare
You can imagine the town talk
the widespread gossip and the chatter
if you haven’t paid attention
to those areas that matter
So when you are on a stretcher
being trundled into A and E
be certain that you look your best
when you appear on national TV
So never leave your home
without underpants that shine
pristine, clean smelling, and
designed by Calvin Klein
BRING IT ON!
Written by Bill Conroy
Bill Conroy is a Tauranga based freelance writer and poet.