GrownUps New Zealand

To win back your love, first love yourself

How taking care of your confidence is the best way to get your ex back

“’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred, Lord Tennyson obviously wasn’t feeling the heartbreak of a broken relationship! If that’s you at the moment, and you’re desperate to get your love back, the best way forward may surprise you – first, love yourself. A healthy relationship is built on healthy individuals who are confident in themselves and their value. A break-up can knock the stuffing out of your confidence, and make the chance of reconciliation almost impossible. Here’s how to rebuild your confidence so you’re ready to rekindle the romance. 

 

Take a step back

 

If your painful break-up is still fresh in your mind, you’ll be feeling lonely, hurt and maybe even a bit desperate. Your first impulse is to pursue your lost love – but this can often do more harm than good. Pursuing her now will make it much hard to win her back and may make her angry at you. So take a break, quit communicating, and walk away from the situation for a while.

 

Be kind to yourself

 

Then, take this time to work on yourself. This should be a time of healing and self-care to get mentally and physically fit again. Get in touch with friends, rekindle a forgotten hobby and do things that make you feel happy. Therapy, yoga and meditation work wonders for calming distressed minds.

 

Forgive 

 

Make sure you acknowledge your part in the breakup and forgive yourself for it. Then forgive your ex for the part he played. A clean slate gives you a chance to build something new. Also, be kind to yourself. 

 

Get healthy

 

There’s no downside to great food and regular exercise. It’ll improve your mood, self-esteem and sleep. People who have never exercised are amazed at how much better they feel once they start. Exercise is also a good way to make new friends, and get back into fit form – so you present an attractive package if you ever get the chance to give things another go with your ex. 

Stay positive 

It’s all too easy to get down in the dumps when you’re dumped – and that can kickstart a downward spiral. Instead, take this time for self-reflection, and above all, self-love. Your new, confident self will be well-positioned to win back your lost love.